LOIT Hotline

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“Ring, ring”

Clerk:  “Hello, thank you for calling the LOIT Hotline.  How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Yes, I have a few questions about the LOIT tax.  Is it true everybody in the county may see  their taxes increased to 1.8%?”

Clerk: “Yes, sir, that is correct.”

Caller: “Oh, that adds up to quite a bit of money from my paycheck.  Can you explain why this tax is needed?”

Clerk:  “I would be glad to, sir.  Our elected officials have been hard at work overseeing the budgets. We have had piers to fix and we even had to cancel fireworks.  Twice!  The finance committee has only had one  time to meet in 18 months!  Very busy people.”

Caller:  “I see.  Well, it does seem like they have  a full plate.”

Clerk:  “Yes.  And to make matters more complicated, there is a group of people, citizens, who have to know everything that is going on.  This makes life very difficult and nearly impossible to increase government employment opportunities.  Still, we have been  successful in adding to our employment rolls.  We are almost at the 2004 level.”

Caller: “That certainly is good news, since our unemployment rate has just topped 11.7%.  I will be willing to pay $300.00 more per year to keep the government running.  I mean, it is our patriotic duty to pay more into the tax base.”

Clerk:  “You are so correct.  My uncle, Mr. Commissioner, created this job and hired me.  So the LOIT is a great opportunity for government growth.”

Caller:  “I see clearly now.  You want 43% more of my money so that jobs in government can be retained, and the local elected officials can continue to spend.  Something does trouble me, though.”

Clerk: “What’s that, sir?”

Caller: “With the unemployment rate so high, and this area being known for its poverty level, how much money do you expect to collect?”

Clerk: “Oh, millions!  You understand that even at $7.25/hour, we can still get plenty of money.  After all, if you just give up one or two meals at McDonald’s per week, you really won’t miss the money you will be paying into the LOIT.  It’s all about learning to budget YOUR income and sacrificing for the good of a few.   Besides, it is not healthy to eat out.  We care about your well-being.   Wouldn’t you like to see this hotline continue and keep me employed ?”

Caller:  “I suppose.” (With a doubtful sigh.)

Clerk: “This is a Win-Win situation for everybody and it is a Dollar for Dollar for all taxpayers.  So, it is hard to argue against it, wouldn’t you say?”

Caller:  “It doesn’t feel like a Win-Win situation, but, if you say so.  You are the expert.  I do understand the dollar for dollar.   For each dollar I give the government, that is one less dollar I have to feed my family.”

Clerk: “You are very welcome. Just remember, your tax dollars help keep me employed.”

Caller: “Can I get a job?”

Clerk: “No.”

Caller:  “Well, thank you, I guess.”

Clerk: “You’re welcome, and sir, we even have more taxes and spending ideas in the works.  Thank you for calling the LOIT Hotline.  Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Yes, if I don’t like LOIT, who shall I call?”

Clerk: “You can’t, nobody is listening.” 

Call ends.

Say NO TO LOIT! Call and voice your opinion on LOIT, even if you live in the county!

Alison Quirk: 765-288-5319
Mike King: 765-282-3709
Linda Gregory: 765-286-2925
Jerry Dishman: 765-215-9747
Mary Jo Barton: 765-289-9494
Monte Murphy: 765-286-4154 or 765-288-0516
Sam Marshall: 765-288-0478
Brad Polk: 765-288-0571
Mark Conatser: 765-744-8862



One thought on “LOIT Hotline

    Deborah King - Eichholz said:
    July 23, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Oh, that was tasty ! Congratulations on a great piece and an on the mark observation !


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